‘It wasn’t safe’: Being trans in rural Saskatchewan

“It was actually horrible, and I wasn’t out yet, but my best friend was – or is – and I’m surprised he didn’t kill himself.”

Passing a policy

In August 2023, the Saskatchewan government passed a parental inclusion and consent policy requiring educators to inform parents about their children’s preferred names and pronouns if they were under 16. It also removed third-party sexual health education in the classroom, while it underwent a review.

“As a parent I think it’s a travesty, I feel defeated,” said Quinn’s mom Vangie Loewen.

“Kids aren’t always safe at home. Lots of time… bad things [are] at home and they need to be able to have an outlet to say things and explain stuff that’s going on, have a person that’s safe,” she said.

Vangie explained in her time as a foster parent, she saw a lot of children with trauma. She said for some daily abuse was their reality since early childhood and so they don’t necessarily know that it’s wrong.

“What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly,” she said, noting that having the third-party organizations come in and teach the children age-appropriate lessons about consent and safe behaviour are key to opening up dialogue.

“I just think there needs to be an extra safe space where kids can get that information,” she said, adding there was an open dialogue with her own children as they grew up.

“The more we talk about stuff, the better it is.”

Frustrated

According to Kayla Vany, advocacy and awareness coordinator with Battlefords and Area Sexual Assault Centre (BASAC), she’s frustrated with being forced out of the schools. In a letter to battlefordsNOW, she said she was “a proud advocate for empowering children and youth through education about consent, boundaries, and personal safety.”

Prior to the policy, BASAC educated over 3,000 children annually.

“This policy, though perhaps well-intentioned, is deeply frustrating and profoundly concerning,” she wrote.

“Teaching consent is not controversial. It is not political. It is about equipping young people with the confidence to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and recognize unsafe situations — skills that will serve them throughout their lives, long before and far beyond conversations about sexuality. It is about protecting our children and building a safer society.”

The removal also left a hole for the Living Sky School Division.

“We want our schools to be safe and affirming places for all kids including trans kids,” said Brenda Vickers, LSKYSD director of education.

“100 per cent, there’s no question about that.”

According to Vickers, when the policies were first enacted, the school division’s board was equally frustrated and wrote a letter to then-Education Minister Jeremy Cockrill asking to make exceptions.

“We’ve heard from our schools that they are missing these services too,” she said, noting BASAC was one of the organizations specifically mentioned in the letter.

“Teachers do the best they can do but there are some things where organizations like that, that specialize in some of the topics and conversations, they can talk to kids in a way that kids need to hear it.”

An answer

The school division board received a letter from Education Minister Everett Hindley after he took office. Vickers said the response was “it kind of is what it is and no change has been made, and so, we were very sad to see BASAC not in our schools.”

In an emailed statement provided to battlefordsNOW, Hindley said the government believes the parents and guardians are “the most important people in a child’s life.”

“…they have the right to be included in their child’s life altering decisions, and that they have the right to know what goes on at their child’s school,” it read.

“Specifically, to change rooms, we are consulting with the newly-elected representatives of the 27 school divisions to ensure that the policy being developed is supportive of each and every child across the province.”

Quinn said last year his school designated a bathroom to be gender-neutral and it was a step toward inclusion for him and other trans men at the school.

“It wasn’t safe to go into the men’s bathroom and obviously, they would rather die than go into the women’s and that’s not safe either,” Quinn said. “They’d get bullied, tormented and not necessarily just by the girls – the guys are the biggest issue.”

With an adapted bathroom, the challenge remained when it came to changing for gym class.

“I did go by my deadname – she/her pronouns – it still wasn’t a comfortable situation for me,” he said, noting he stayed out of the girls change room and didn’t change.

He lied for her

He explained while the girls were awkward, the boys were violent.

“People were so upset that these trans kids were in their bathrooms, so upset and it was really just the trans men doing that,” he said.

“We did have one trans girl,” said Quinn, of a young preteen who was out.

“I was like, ‘What the f*** are you doing? You can’t. As a trans woman, it’s so different,” Quinn said.

“People view trans men as ‘you’re just a little girl’ you’re whatever, trans women, they view as predators.”

To protect her, Quinn said he lied for her and would tell peers her voice sounded a certain way because of a hormonal issue.

“The way people used to talk about it, it was like they were clenching their fist at this 12-year-old girl,” he said.

The Loewens in the early years. (Submitted Photo/Quinn Loewen)

In a response from the school’s Principal Greg Knot and Vice-Principal, Rae Short to Quinn’s experiences and those of his friends, they said they know their staff would be hurt and disappointed the students couldn’t be themselves.

“Over the past few years, our team has spent a lot of time working towards trying to be more inclusive and involved in creating a positive, inclusive culture in our building. We have worked, along with division staff, to complete a more inclusive washroom space, have worked on our response to bullying, and we have tried to accommodate student needs when we are made aware of them,” they said in the joint statement.

“We acknowledge that there are still things happening that we may not be aware of and that there is more work to do. That said, we are committed to making our school a place where every student can learn, grow and be their authentic selves.”

Missing humanity

According to Vangie, because the teachers spend so much time with their students, they know them, care for them and notice when they aren’t themselves.

“They’re frustrated right because they have rules and guidelines that they have to follow, but they also understand the humanity of it, because that’s what’s missing, the humanity part of it,” she said.

Vangie explained that she would love to “watch someone like Jeremy Cockrill and [Premier] Scott Moe sit down with a panel of LGBT+ community members” for a conversation.

“Once you realize that those people are human beings just like you and me – these teachers get that.”

Quinn said when he and his friend first found out about the policies, he said it left them confused at what he said is a niche law.

“It was like ‘they can’t seriously think about passing this’ like…we were just kind of shocked.”

Now in postsecondary, he has recently come out and even so, only just semi-publicly.

“Those who know, know and I’ve just kind of distanced myself away from those who don’t,” he said, referring to former classmates.

Of his experience in school, while he had “amazing” teachers, he said the school, which doesn’t have a Gender and Sexuality Alliances (GSA), should have been a place of safety where the educators stepped in.

“It’s an awkward conversation and because of laws and stuff…they’re more hesitant to reach out against their students,” he said.

“When there (were) incidents that arise, it was a bit more awkward than it should be or it was just ignored.”

An apology

Vickers said there may have been some initial confusion at the school about what was and wasn’t allowed. “I know the staff, like I say, would want to help kids, I just know it.”

“I’m really sorry if we had a student who struggled in that way, I just really, genuinely am and I think the staff – I know the staff – would say the same thing.”

According to Vany, by removing sex educators, “the government is effectively silencing a critical conversation” and leaving children vulnerable.

“I am fiercely unapologetic about the work I do because I believe in it wholeheartedly,” she said.

“The barriers this policy has created do not diminish its importance; they only increase my resolve to fight for the right of every child to feel safe, respected, and empowered.”

Meanwhile, Quinn said the policies are useless and the community is scared.

“It’s trans women, they’re not thinking about trans men. I know this; they don’t care, nobody’s thinking about trans men,” he said.

“We’re just women in their minds right and nobody cares what women think.”

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julia.lovettsquires@pattisonmedia.com

On BlueSky: juleslovett.bsky.social

by Julia Lovett-Squires

‘It wasn’t safe’: Being trans in rural Saskatchewan

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