Healing hearts with horses: finding my voice through grounding and being present

While horses grazed quietly around the ring, Kelly Friedrich, riding coach and owner of Winning Ways Ranch near Loon Lake, spoke softly and guided the women through feeling each sense.

I was among them.

As we took gulps of air, opened our eyes to look around our environment and felt the dirt beneath our feet, that anxious atmosphere gave way to a feeling of grounding as the emotional stresses we face in day-to-day living melted away.

“That’s the gift of the horse: the present, the here and now that they live in,” said Friedrich.

Making connections. (Julia Lovett-Squires/meadowlakeNOW Staff)

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and according to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), one in five Canadians experiences mental illness and the rate of suicide averages 4,000 a year, or 11 per day.

When I was invited by the horsewoman to come to her ranch to take part in the grounding session, I couldn’t turn it down.

First, I’m a horse girl and spent a good chunk of my childhood in and out of the saddle. Anytime I have a chance to be around horses or go riding, I do so.

Secondly, my life is in a state of constant movement. To cope with the demands, I’ve been going on auto pilot and found that I need to reconnect with myself – something not easily done given what I do for a living as a news reporter often witnessing intense scenarios.

There is also a third reason for wanting to write this as an experiential piece: mental health is highly stigmatized and as someone who has faced challenges and trauma in my life, I want to lend my own voice.

This is done in the hopes that people who read this will understand that mental health is not shameful – it is health.

On that brisk but sunny April day, I, along with the others – all of whom were stable hands – put all of our stress or anxiety into the care of the four-legged beasts quietly roaming about.

“There’s a lot of people in the world today that are suffering from overwork, overstress, overload and their need of some type of a natural way to come back to themselves and find themselves again,” said Friedrich, speaking with me before the session began.

“Horses are an absolutely wonderful way to do that.”

The coach said she has spent a lifetime in the equine world and what she learned – as most people who live with horses do – spending time with them, brushing them, stroking them elicits a calming effect.

“The reason is that horses have huge hearts and their energy from their hearts surrounds us when we’re near them,” she said.

I know this to be true.

As a kid, who was just learning to ride, it was one of the first things I was taught and have never forgotten. Horses feel everything. As such, riders are taught to relax – any anxiety or fear can cause their mount to channel that energy, and it can be dangerous.

“That’s why some people have trouble when they ride,” she said.

“Their minds are so busy either worrying about what they’re going to do, or they’re traumatized by something that’s happened in the past and so they’re not present here with the horse.”

Friedrich explained that they know when humans are emotionally elsewhere.

“Sometimes, we’ll see the horses, even not just one but two, will come and gather around a person and they’ll just sort of stand there close to the person because they can feel that that person isn’t here, isn’t grounded.”

On this particular day, the session first required people to first go through a guided exercise that helped participants let go fear of the past, anxiety for the future and focus on being in the moment. With helpers standing watch nearby to ensure everyone’s safety, it was a chance to connect with each sense and take in the natural surroundings.

“I’m going to ask you to be here in this present moment, and I’m going to ask you to really listen,” she said to the participants.

“I’m going to ask you to see if there’s something you can hear now that you are in the present moment that you didn’t hear before?”

I’ve always found offering scratches is welcome. (Photo/Winning Ways Ranch)

As we worked through each phase, the smells and the colours became heightened and visceral. The skin tingled, the breeze became crisper, our ears became sharper, and our eyes saw the sky and trees in vivid shades of azure and emerald.

Once the first portion was complete, Friedrich asked each of us to give one word to describe how we felt. Going around the group, we each answered: centred, relaxed, peaceful, and soft.

Now, it was time to go out and make connections. The ranch hands, all of whom had come over from other countries had had this experience before and since they worked on the property, knew which of the geldings they had bonds with.

“My suggestion is that you share with one of those friends, perhaps a secret or something that’s in your heart,” Friedrich had told us.

I, however, was the wild card and had to calmly and quietly introduce myself. A few of them seemed interested in this new person and offered a bob of the head in greeting or a muzzle to scratch but it was fleeting. Sensing I wasn’t much of a threat, they returned back to chomping on the grass, and I was content to just stand there and stroke them. That was all that was required.

Upon returning back to the coach for the second part of the exercise, there was a renewed sense of peace among the group. The heaviness earlier had lifted, and Friedrich offered words of comfort from HeartMath Institute and other organizations.

“Regardless of how it looks throughout the world, more and more people are being prompted from within that love, compassionate care and kindness are what the world really needs at this time,” she said.

“Many of us feel that life’s events are shaking us awake to this realization. However it appears, know that heart awakening is peeping through the cracks between the chaos, bitterness, fear and separation.”

The experience did have the desired effect. The tension and achiness that I was carrying around was starting to ease and I found I was breathing deeper and in doing so, my muscles started to relax.

There is a correlation between what happens mentally and how it impacts the physical side of a person’s being. As we listened, Friedrich spoke about the ancient belief of the Egyptians that it was the heart and not the brain that was the source of human wisdom and the centre of intellect, emotion and memory.

“It was considered the most important of the internal organs,” she said, citing from the National Institute of Health’s National Library of Medicine.

Science is now discovering that the heart does indeed play a vital role in emotional regulation and memory, and it does interact with the brain.

“We now know that there are over 40,000 neurons in your heart, it has its own nervous system,” she said of what is affectionately called by researchers as the heart’s ‘little brain.”

This breakthrough was discovered in the early 1990’s as researchers were working on heart disease.

“The emotions we process in our brains also reverberate through these pathways in our heart.”

Getting back to nature, therefore, was the goal of the day and spending it among horses sounded ideal. Sharing it with other like-minded women, added to the sense of understanding and comradery.

Elora Wicht is just present. (Julia Lovett-Squires/meadowlakeNOW Staff)

“I’m quite a spiritual person myself so I find these exercises – I’ve actually found them harder than I thought they would be,” said Eve Daley.

“I thought I was coming out here just to be a ranch hand and just helping out and I’ve realized it’s so much more than that. I feel like I’m on my own little spiritual journey here.”

Morgan Loots said she grew up in London and faced her own struggles.

“When you’re stuck in a situation like that, you kind of crave the freedom that comes with being out in the country,” she said.

Having the chance to participate in these types of exercises has helped Loots begin to heal.

“Now that I’m here, it’s a real sense of ‘finally’ you know? I was out doing the cows, checking them, make sure they’re all right and I just looked around and kind of realized where I was.”

For Elora Wicht, who grew up in Switzerland watching horse movies, it had been a lifelong dream to live on a ranch.

“I used to ride a lot as a child,” she said.

Since coming to Winning Ways weeks earlier, Wicht said she’s been happy. Learning the job and getting to spend the quality time with the horses and working through the exercises has been emotional for her.

“It’s quite a vibe to be honest, I feel that it’s not real life,” she said, laughing.

Grace Eldrett, agreed. She and Daley are best friends and came to the ranch together.

“The start of this year has kind of been the start of my journey,” she said, through tears.

“Being here is just everything and more to be honest. It’s so special.”

The young women said they learn something new every day while working with their mentor and the animals. That is something that I have felt during my time around barns. It’s hard work but the rewards are boundless.

Being at the ranch, I remembered another lesson I learned long ago: horses teach patience. They teach empathy and yes, they teach leadership.

“When you’re here in such a wonderful place and you can feel the presence of the animals, I think a lot of people are in their heads,” Loots said.

“They don’t realize how they can be free if they just follow what their heart wants.”

—

julia.lovettsquires@pattisonmedia.com

On BlueSky: juleslovett.bsky.social

by Julia Lovett-Squires

Healing hearts with horses: finding my voice through grounding and being present

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