Overdose and addiction awareness: Sarah’s story

Sarah, not her real name, started her path to addictions when she was just 11 years old. Her Dad was the one who provided her with alcohol and drugs.

“He pretty much supplied all my drugs and alcohol as a teenager,” Sarah said.

Add that to a family history of addiction and it was a recipe for disaster. At 15, she got pregnant and sobered up for her son; something she managed to maintain until he was about six.

“I was trying to reclaim my lost youth, and I went haywire.”

She met her partner in rehab, relapsed and became pregnant again. Pending motherhood gave her a strong incentive to change her ways…but only for awhile.

“This time it went from just drugs to opiates, painkillers and stuff.”

To help her stay clean, she used the methadone program for seven years. She was enrolled in her second year of nursing school when she wanted to be rid of the stigma of having to depend on methadone, so she stopped taking it. Methadone helps opioid addicts control their addiction through metered doses, but there are program rules, such as going to the doctor, not diverting the supply to those in active addiction and being constantly monitored.

Sarah was going to school, parenting full-time and working as a care aide and started heading back down a dark path by drinking.

“The drinking went to the drugs and then the drugs went to the painkillers and I was right back where I started,” she said. “But this time, I got arrested because I was selling to support my habit.”

At one point, Sarah’s aunt called and told her she had found her paraphernalia and informed her she would be taking her son. She lost her children and all the progress she had made. Her next call was to a treatment centre.

Her first time on the methadone program was quick and painless but she soon learned that would not be the case the second time around.

“It was like boom, done. That was it, never looked back, clean and sober for seven years. But this time, it was a lot harder. I was still using while on the methadone program,” Sarah said.

She started going to support meetings which helped, but like other addicts, there was some inner work to do that could not be ignored.

“It was just a band-aid because you still have all the problems. I didn’t have any coping skills or know how to deal with life on life’s terms. That’s why I went back to what I knew best. When life gets hard, its right back to drugs and alcohol and partying.”

She ended up as a patient herself in the hospital with an abscess from using needles and ‘with a broken foot from being drunk and stupid.’

Sarah had started out with drinking, then switched to cocaine and then on to Dilaudid, a well-known prescription opioid. While in the hospital, the nurses found drugs in her purse.

“They called the police, and I was arrested and charged. I had such a high quantity of course, that they charged me with trafficking. So right there, my whole nursing career is done.”

Looking around at her home with career aspirations gone and no children to motivate her just made the despair worse.

“You want to get these kids back and you want to fight for them to be back, but when you’re sitting at home and you see their toys sitting in the corner and their empty bedrooms, that is just one of the hardest things.”

Sarah is now a firm believer that giving back and having a spiritual purpose is crucial to recovery and it was hard, but she found a way forward despite the fact that ‘not even a fast food restaurant’ would hire her.

“If there’s a will, there’s a way. Nobody’s going to hire me, but I became self-employed. I did use the skills that I have and what I like to do and found a way,” she said.

Now, she is a business owner.

She wants others to know that recovery and sobriety is possible for those who want it bad enough. She took programming, took classes and got a sponsor for support and to have someone hold her accountable.

“I have to surround myself with new places, people and things,” Sarah explained. “I had to get rid of all my friends. To this day, some of my childhood friends I can’t hang out with because they’re still (using).”

Financially, she’s also in a better place than she ever was before. From not being able to afford a pack of cigarettes, she can now take a trip or buy herself things just for fun.

Her relationship with her two sons varies. The oldest suffered the most, she said, and their relationship is strained. Her second son and she have a very close connection, and he lives with her.

After some frank discussions with both about addictions and how it runs in the family, she is happy that both have avoided the mistakes she made.

“The biggest thing is for the family to realize it’s a disease and, just like diabetics take their insulin every day, an addict needs to take their medication every day.”

Another firm belief is having a bigger purpose of some sort, a notion she connects with spirituality.

“You have got to have some form of spirituality. You have got to help somebody and usually, it’s best to help other addicts. We only keep what we have by giving it away.”

In order to find the way up, Sarah said addicts need to hit rock bottom and get sick of their lifestyle and really want to make changes.

“You’ve got to be busy and do something to make the world a better place so you feel good. So you don’t have to fill that empty void with substances because you get fulfillment from helping others.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, click here for a list of local services. You can also call:

National Overdose Response Service – 1-888-688-6677

This toll-free, 24-hour hotline aims to prevent deadly overdoses by connecting people who are alone and using drugs with peer volunteers who can call for help if needed.

Click below to read more personal stories in this series about addiction and overdose awareness:

Rodney’s Story

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susan.mcneil@pattisonmedia.com

by Susan McNeil

Overdose and addiction awareness: Sarah’s story

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