By paNOW

Stepping forward on domestic abuse education and awareness

May 20, 2018 | 11:00 AM

Having experienced emotional abuse in a relationship first hand, Conrad Burns continues his work to raise awareness on the subject and empower people to speak up and gain the strength to exit their own violent situations.

In doing so, for the eighth year, the Prince Albert man laced up his sneakers and set out along the shoulder of Highway 11 to Saskatoon this weekend to take a step forward and raise awareness about the perils of domestic abuse.

“Abuse is something we don’t have to deal with,” he said Saturday as he prepared for his 140-kilometre journey from City Hall to City Hall. “We internalize it or suck it up or feel like we have to because if we love somebody, we will deal with it.”

He said one-in-three women and one-in-five men across Canada are impacted by domestic abuse. This can come in many forms, including mocking, controlling, manipulating, belittling, and physical contact. On average, it takes seven times for someone to leave an abusive relationship.

In two past relationships, Burns was the byproduct of abuse spurred by an intergenerational experience of others growing up and witnessing abusive behaviours. 

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“Our children are being exposed to it … they grow up seeing this is what love is; at the end of a fist,” he said. “We have to break these cycles of abuse.”

Aiding in his endeavour to educate and empower, Burns recently incorporated a non-profit organization called Rise Up, in an effort to better obtain government grants to fund education programs. He said reaching out and letting people know they are not alone in their situation is key to supporting and enabling those in violent situations. 

But, he said, the abuser also needs to be taken into account.

“You are hurting someone because you have learned negative coping mechanisms in your life and learned how to hurt someone because of your own frustrations,” Burns said. “We want to see you, as an abuser, talk about it, accept your responsibility for your actions and learn how to deal with your frustrations in a positive way instead of taking it out on someone you love, or supposedly love.”

Over the past eight years, Burns said the walk and its message has reached thousands of people, but many still cycle in and out of doubt and dangerous living in situations, spurring him to continue the endeavour.

He said talking about an abusive experience can be a difficult conversation to have, saying many people become skittish when speaking on the issue. He hopes the walk can help normalize the conversation so it is easier for people to discuss, deal with and move forward. 

“You are always carrying so many hopes and dreams and everything when you are walking and you are always thinking about those stories,” he said.

Burns said it brings him satisfaction and vindication when, during his walk or elsewhere, people approach him and tell their own stories.

“One of the best stories I heard over the years, is one woman who came forward and said, ‘I am in an abusive relationship right now. I know why you are walking and you are giving me the hope and desire to leave this situation one day when I find the strength myself,’” he said. 

“We walk for those people.”

tyler.marr@jpbg.ca

On Twitter: @JournoMarr